im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Terrible idea I love it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
