Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize