Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
