she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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