why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
