she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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