I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
