Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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