:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
