Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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