well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
