Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
