Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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