hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A bitchslap is in order.
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