Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
