i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
