when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There r osticjed everywhere
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
