So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
