WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
