The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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