Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
