sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So many bounce houses so little time
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
