ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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