Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
