She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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