never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
