What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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