i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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