Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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