Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
