i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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