I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
zippers are such a cool invention
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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