On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
