before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
