Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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