The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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