They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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