I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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