I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
