When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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