Porn is love you can see.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
