You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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