My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
did i walk over a car last night?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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