hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Randomize
