i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hippo gnu deer
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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