Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
