fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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