im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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