I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
