i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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