he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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