I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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