Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
