Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
