it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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