I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
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Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
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He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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